Firefly Ficlets
by xfirefly9x
Summary: Ficlets based on the characters of Firefly.
1. Evil

**A/N:** Here's a few of the short drabble/fics that I've written for livejournal. One fic per chapter.

**Title:** Evil  
**Word prompt:** Babble  
**Word Count:** 100  
**Characters:** River, Simon  
**Notes: **Written for **fffriday** on livejournal

"It's evil!" River shrieked, pointing at the object in front of her. "Get it away!" She wrapped her arms tightly around herself, her eyes wide in terror.

"Mei-mei? What's wrong?" Simon hurried over, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"It's evil!" River repeated, almost equally hysterical. She shivered and caught Simon's eye. "Don't let it get me!"

"I won't! I won't!" Simon soothed. "Can you point at what's scaring you, River? So I can take it away." He added.

River nodded and lifted a shaking hand to point at the object.

"Simon! The cheese is evil!" She babbled, nervously.


	2. Unauthorised

**Title:** Unauthorised  
**Word prompt:** Books  
**Word Count:** 100  
**Characters:** Simon, River  
**Notes: **Written for **fffriday**

Simon reached into his medical kit, pulling out an electronic notebook that carried all the information he needed to assist him in his various operations. He turned it on and the screen flickered to life.

"Persephone. Biological records." Simon ordered it. The welcome menu flashed and a new picture dissolved onto the display panel.

"Psychosis." He confined the search. There was another flash – a warning message appeared. _Unauthorised user. Logged for attempting to access Alliance information. _

Simon sighed wearily and turned to his sister. "I'm sorry, River. I –"

"I know." River looked up at him, smiling sadly. "Don't worry."


	3. Waiting

**Title:** Waiting  
**Word prompt:** Late  
**Word Count:** 100  
**Characters:** Mal, Zoe, Inara

Mal cussed angrily in Chinese and paced up and down the strip of desert land in front of Serenity. He paused by Zoe who stood on the ramp, staring blankly into the distance.

"When did she say she was gettin' back?" He questioned her for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. "It was oh-eight-hundred, right?"

"Yes, sir." Zoe replied stonily. "Oh-eight-hundred." She confirmed.

"Right then." Mal returned to his pacing.

Several minutes later, an elegantly dressed woman appeared off to their right.

"About time!" Mal grumbled, haughtily.

Inara walked up to him and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry I'm late."


	4. Truth

**Title:** Truth  
**Word prompt:** Secrets  
**Word Count:** 100  
**Characters:** Inara/Mal  
**Notes:** My first post to the **firefly100** community!

Inara headed towards her shuttle, tiredly. On entering, she immediately noticed that Mal was there. His back to her, he stood by Inara's bed wringing his hands nervously.

"Mal? What are you doing in my shuttle?" Inara's mood flared. At Inara's words, he visibly flinched and turned to look at her.

"Nothin'." He settled on.

"Mal. How many times do I have to tell you? Unless invited, stay out of my shuttle! This is my home. Can't you respect that?"

"It's just that…" Mal started, uncomfortably.

"It's just that what?" Inara questioned.

"Can…can I tell you a secret…?" Mal asked.


	5. Burdens

**A/N:** Inspired by River. This is something different for me, so let me know what you think please!

Burdens

There's nothing left of her

But an empty shell

In which you will find the voices.

Secrets of all she has touched

Are locked up inside –

Buried deep where no one can see.

She carries the burden of the

World around with her –

Unable to not know, unable to be free.

She's haunted by all the things

That she feels and knows

And wants her soul to be lifted and eased.

Tremors shake her body

And threaten to break her

But she's stronger than that.

She was changed to perceive

The world as no other

And her purpose has made her strong.

With no choice but to move on

She is a slave to her own mind

Yet she fights to overcome herself.

In the end, she will succeed

Or remain eternally broken

And shatter into a million pieces.

With the fate of the 'verse

In her hands, she will go on

And fulfil her awaiting destiny.


	6. Storm

**Title:** Storm  
**Word prompt:** Rain  
**Word Count:** 100  
**Characters:** River, Mal

It comes sliding down the sky at first, gently reaching Serenity's exterior and fading away into nothing. Then it speeds up, dropping faster and hitting the ship with more force.

River watches it silently, her eyes darting to and from the droplets, calculating the time it takes for a single drop to fall.

She watches as the water streams down the glass in wet trails, until it moves out of view behind the steely thick walls of Serenity.

Then she turns to Mal.

"Storm's getting worse." She states.

Mal turns to her and smiles.

"We'll pass through it soon enough."


	7. Since I Found Serenity

**Title:** Since I Found Serenity  
**Word prompt:** Earth  
**Word Count:** 100  
**Characters:** Book  
**Notes:** Written for firefly100

Earth. Solid ground. Book missed it more than he thought possible. Since he had found himself onboard Serenity, his entire universe had changed. And not just physically.

His world had been turned upside down and inside out. It was spinning out of control and there was nothing he could do about it.

Heading for the Companion's shuttle, Book chuckled to himself, the irony of his situation sinking in. He, a preacher, was now living among petty thieves. It was the last place he'd ever expected to end up being.

But maybe he was exactly where he was supposed to be.


	8. Spiritual Cleansing

**Title: **Spiritual Cleansing

**Word prompt:** Water  
**Word Count:** 100  
**Characters:** Inara  
**Notes:** Written for firefly100

Inara slowly moved the damp cloth over her half-naked figure, letting the water soak into deep into her skin. To her, the ritual was cleansing – not only physically, but also mentally and spiritually.

The purity of body and soul that preceded her bathing always allowed her to feel again, as any Companion should. It gave a sense of calmness and control.

And after what Mal had done, those were two things that she very much needed. Sighing, Inara dipped the cloth once more into the tub of water beside her and let the cloth caress her body one last time.


	9. Biological Discovery

**Title:** Biological Discovery

**Prompt:** 124. Trees

**Word Count:** 100

**Characters:** River, Kaylee

**Written for:** ff-friday

River stared up at the monstrous shape before her in awe. It was so big that she couldn't even see Kaylee, who had hidden behind it. It was fascinating.

"There are prongs with prongs protruding." She babbled absentmindedly. "And coloured slips of green and brown and yellow and orange skin on the prongs." Reaching out, she touched it with the tip of one finger, cocking her head to the side in wonder.

"Waxy and smooth, yet soft and veiny." She noted, curiously. "What is it?"

Kaylee appeared around the object, grinning at the girls' unusual fixation. "River, that's a tree."


	10. Alone

Alone  
**Prompt:** Fire  
**Word count:** 100  
**Comments: **Written for **firefly100**.

"Mal! You don't have to die alone!" Inara tugged frantically at his brown sleeve but he refused to budge. A determined expression was plastered on his face and it was obvious that he wasn't going to listen.

"Come on!" The Companion was getting desperate.

Mal shook his head roughly and moved further into the flames. The fire licked at his clothes until the skin beneath was raw and blistering. Smoke stung his eyes and he blinked furiously to clear the pain. The sweltering heat was almost too much but he wouldn't give in.

"Can't," he murmured sadly. "Everybody dies alone."


	11. Leaving

**Title: **Leaving

**Prompt:** #33 Too Much

**Word Count:** 205 Words

**Written For: ****fanfic100**

It was all too much. Inara couldn't take it anymore. Mal had slept with one of her best friends and had hurt her more than anyone or anything ever had before. And on top of that, he didn't even know just how much his taking to bed with Nandi had affected her.

Inara felt betrayed, although Mal wasn't entirely knowledgeable of her feelings for him. You would think that he would've realised how she felt when he had run into her that morning. She had been on the edge of losing it and had only just managed to hold the tears when she saw him, casually buttoning up his shirt as he left Nandi's room.

If Mal had truly been paying attention to her, he would've noticed her lack of composure, the water that had filled her eyes threatening to spill, and the forced smile.

But he hadn't noticed.

There was no way she could stay around him any longer – if she did, she'd likely explode and everything that she had strived to hide would come out. She couldn't afford that. That was why she had to leave. Inara forced a fake smile onto her face and began to prepare for her departure from Serenity.


	12. Cut Up

**Title:** Cut Up

**Characters:** Jayne, Kaylee

**Word Count:** 100

Jayne padded down to the waters' edge and cautiously waded in, until he was knee-deep in water. Deciding it was safe, he carelessly moved further in, splashing furiously as he went, the water licking at his trousers.

Suddenly, his bare feet met with a splinter of razor sharp shells and the water reddened with his blood.

"Ow! Gorram it!" Jayne jumped back, staggering slightly in pain.

"Jayne?" Kaylee called worriedly. "What's the matter?"

"Rutting shells!" he groaned, flopping down on the beach not far from the mechanic and rubbing at his torn and bleeding feet. "Cut me up real bad!"


	13. Humped

Humped

**Prompt: **#Air  
**Word Count: **100

He took a deep breath of air and then exhaled. Then he took another breath. This couldn't be happening! Could it?

Mal blinked a few times and shook his head as if it would clear away the confusion. It didn't work. He clamped his eyes shut tight and counted backwards from ten. He opened them again. It didn't make the unlikely scene that was playing out in front of him any less so.

Sighing, he gave up trying to make sense of it and took a few steps forwards for an explanation.

"Jayne? What's that dog doing to your leg?"


	14. Unnatural

**Unnatural**

Prompt: #2 Unnatural  
Notes: Written for **baf100**

"What the guay do you think you're doin'?" Mal asked, as he entered the engine room. Sitting on the floor was River, a spanner in her hand and grease staining her forehead.

"Fixing Serenity," came the answer. The girl turned and glanced up at the Captain, shooting him a look that suggested that she always spent her time in the engine room doing just that.

"Right…" Mal raised his eyebrows, disbelievingly. "Where's Kaylee?"

"Down here on my back, Cap'n!" Kaylee called out.

Mal glanced down and seeing the state she was in, blinked, bewildered. "Woah! That's all kinds of unnatural!"


	15. Haunted By Memories

**Haunted By Memories**

Prompt: Ghost

Notes: Written for **firefly100**

Zoe turned restlessly in her sleep, faces of the past haunting her dreams. Sweat beaded her forehead and her hair stuck to her face in sticky threads. She tried to run from it all, but it wouldn't let her get away. She was trapped in a tangle of memories.

She watched as Wash turned to her and shot her a mischievous grin. "I am a leaf on the wind. Watch how –" He was cut off as a wooden stake crashed through the window and pieced his chest.

Zoe was by his side in an instant. "Wash, baby. Baby, no!"


	16. Church

**Church **

Prompt: #120 bells

Notes: Written for fffriday

The bells rang out loudly, indicating the beginning of the service. Walking inside, Book headed towards a wooden pew in the back row, followed closely by the rest of Serenity's crew.

Dressed in their best outfits, the excursion to the church had come about quite unexpectedly and not all were pleased with the event.

Mal hung his head as he entered the church, wishing like hell he was elsewhere. God had failed him and he was never going to forget that. No matter what the bible said, he'd never succumb to those ways again. Never.

Sitting down, Mal sighed, dismayed.


	17. The Academy

**The Academy**

Prompt: #117 school

Characters: Inara

Notes: Written for fffriday

Inara's education had begun when she was just 12 years old at The Academy on Sihnon. Back then, she had loved the idea of becoming a Companion and had put hour after hour into practicing in the hopes that someday she'd achieve her dream.

After several years of schooling she had registered under the Guild and not long later began to work.

She'd left Sihnon to live aboard Serenity. She was now living among petty thieves and the like. Her world had changed more than she thought possible. But still, everything she knew linked back to one place. The Academy.


	18. Impure

**Impure**

Prompt: #004 Angels & devils; disguise/Wings stained with blood

Notes: Written for 30angsts

Pain was etched achingly all over her delicate features. It was a pain that he thought he'd never see equal to from back in the days of war and destruction, of death. But here he was, years later, seeing the same soul wrenching emotion attacking the one he loved most.

She sobbed into his chest relentlessly and just by that simple gesture, he knew that she was broken. Whether she could be put back together he didn't know, but he was willing to give up everything he was to return her to what he had lost. He would give anything for her, no matter how high or seemingly unreachable the cost.

Even if it meant giving his own life.

His angel, his one true love, had been wounded. She was no longer the pure beauty of innocence that she had once been, but rather a fallen image, a painted illusion that was steadily fading away into black nothingness. Her wings were stained with blood so thick it choked him at the thought.

It wasn't fair. None of it was fair. But it was life. It was impure.


	19. React

**React**

Prompt: #002 Kiss

Notes: Written for coclaim100

It was just a kiss, Inara thought to herself. Human nature. Instinct. An impulse. There was nothing more to it than that. Anyone who had a connection to someone like she had with Mal would have done the same thing. Anyone would.

So why did she feel like she was lying to herself? Why did she feel like she was in denial?

She had seen Mal's limp, unmoving body strewn clumsily across the floor of his bunk and had reacted. That was all. There wasn't anything more serious behind her actions; there was nothing to read into. There couldn't be. There wasn't.

And there was definitely no reason for her to feel so…guilty.

She ran the memory through her head again for what seemed like the millionth time, the images so vivid that she feared they were burned into her mind for the rest of eternity.

She saw Mal again and again, looking as if someone had come along and sucked the life right out of him and left his body gracelessly on the floor, an empty shell of what he used to be. That, she imagined, was almost exactly what had happened. Metaphorically, of course.

She had entered his quarters to find him like that. The possibility that death had finally caught up with him had invaded her mind and clouded her senses. She'd kissed him and gone against everything that she'd ever believed in and sworn to herself.

But it changed nothing. She had kissed Malcolm Reynolds full on the lips – there was no denying that – but nothing would come of it. He didn't know and she would never tell him.


	20. Confinement

**Confinement**

Prompt: #019 Empty

Notes: Written for ficlets100

It was cold to the touch, steely walls enclosing the confined space in a hollow and meaningless manner. It had purpose: to hold in what one was to put into it. It was another prison.

"No!" River struggled away from her brother. "I don't want to go in there!" She flailed her arms in a wild attempt to escape.

"River," Simon soothed. "It's alright."

"No! Should be empty. Its purpose doesn't have to be executed."

Simon sighed. "We need to do this, River. Together, you and me."

River scrunched up her face, knowingly.

"Time to go to sleep," she whispered.


	21. Electrifying

**Electrifying**

Prompt: #003 Daydreams  
Notes: Written for joss100

He knew it was only a daydream but if felt like so much more. He could feel her rapid bursts of breath on his neck and the fire of their passion consuming them both in a wall of flames. He felt her gentle yet firm touch on his bare skin and the occasional strand of stubborn black hair falling onto his chest as they let their desires engulf every fibre of their being.

He knew it wasn't real, but he couldn't help himself. Not now. Not after everything that had happened; after everything that they had been through. He needed this.

"Inara!" His voice rang out in a rasp, throaty whisper, slicing through the silence of night like a bolt of lightning piercing the sky. He let out a low moan and his head fell back in pleasure against the cold, steel walls of his bunk. His arms wound around her back, pulling her in close as another shot of feeling overcame him.

The feelings were electrifying. It was hard to believe it was all just a daydream; that it was all in his mind. He decided to take advantage of the realism of the scenario and prepared to tell Inara the truth. He would never do anything like it in real life, so letting his emotions out in his mind was his only release.

He would submit to his hearts desires and let his deepest truths be known. He couldn't let the opportunity pass again, like he had so many times before. It was time.

"Inara," he whispered, drawing her attention to him. They paused in their lovemaking and gazed at each other for a moment before he built up enough courage to continue, his clear blue eyes penetrating her deep brown ones with an uncontrollable intensity.

"I just…I wanted you to know that I love you," he told her, brushing some hair behind her left ear with one hand, and breathing heavily as he looked upon her beautiful, flushed face. He wanted to remember the moment forever and made a point of imprinting the image as best he could into his mind, a photograph to look at when he needed it again.

"I never wanna wake up from this," he muttered solemnly under his breath, watching the dark beauty beside him.

"Mal?" Her voice floated to him like a beacon. It pulled him from the depths of his mind back to reality. Inara's face inched closer to his and Mal found his focus once again drawn to the puffs of air on his skin as she exhaled. Her perfume clung to the air and suddenly it was all real.

"Mal," Inara whispered, her lips hovering over his. "I love you, too."


	22. Bending The Rules

**Bending The Rules**

Prompt: #052 Bending The Rules and #067 Choices

Notes: Written for coclaim100 and joss100

Inara had thought about bending the rules that the Guild registry had set her and every other Companion in the 'verse, many times. She had contemplated letting them slide and going after her desires, and had even had the occasional dream in which scenario after scenario played out where her rules and guidelines did not exist.

But in reality, she knew it was wrong.

Whatever she felt, she knew deep inside that if she played off her emotions, she would fall. She would lose sight of the ground and lurch down into an empty void, with nothing to pull her back out and not even the tiniest thread left to save her.

She didn't want to risk her career for that. The idea of falling and never being able to stop spun her head. It turned her upside down, inside out and confused her more than she cared to say, stabbing violently through to her heart.

For her entire life she had worked towards where she was now. She had done everything in her power to get there. If she so much as took one step further towards the boundary line, she'd break the fine thread and lose all of that.

There was no way that she'd be able to keep up her career, her livelihood, if she followed up on what her heart called out for. It was bad enough now with all the arguments and so-called complications that she wasn't even sure truly existed. For all she knew both herself and Mal had placed them there to guard their hearts.

But maybe, just maybe, it would be better. Maybe they would find the connection between them and build it from it's thin strand of spider-web into something much more stable and lasting; something with the strength of the thickest rope in the 'verse, that would withstand everything thrown its way and never snap apart.

In the end though, it all came down to one thing. Was she willing to break the rules she had held so highly for all of her life and invite Mal into her bed and into her heart? Was she willing to take the chance?


	23. She Knows

**She Knows**

Prompt: #001 A cruel illusion

Word Count: 114

Notes: Written for 2x5obsessions. River's POV on Inara and Mal's relationship.

She knows. I can see it in her eyes and in the way she looks at him. She knows he feels. She knows because she feels it too. But she won't. She won't face it. She wants to, but she can't. Thinks it's too complicated, but really it's just walls.

She built them to keep him out. Not him specifically, but him, nonetheless. They're barely there, but they are. Won't crumble and fall like he wants, but stay there, seemingly indestructable.

But she's more vulnerable than they think; more exposed to him than anyone else. Denial. That's what it is. Denial and falsified complications posing as walls to protect. Not real.

And she knows.


	24. Horses

**Horses**

Prompt: #000 Inara, horses

Notes: Written for silkess

They had stopped over at a small planet on the rim a couple of days ago and Inara, seeing as there were no suitable clients per say, had taken to walking down to the lake where, on more than one occasion, she had seen horses.

She spent hours at a time sitting under an old oak tree against the trunk, watching the horses when they came and thinking, and staying until the sun sunk behind the hills, leaving a brilliant pattern of various colours – tonight it was a mixture of intense reds and oranges – across the sky.

Most of the time, she found her mind circling back to the horses. Their coats were all matted, the healthy black colour straining to shine through to the surface. Dirt was baked into their backs and burrs from the bushes nearby tangled them even more. Life in the wilderness was obviously having a harsh effect on them.

Despite their haggard appearance, there was something about them that drew Inara to them. She found it strange at first; not understanding exactly what it was that grabbed her attention. They were wild horses. They were dirty. They were just _there_.

There was something about them, though.

For days, Inara tried to work out what it was that had her so captivated. They were certainly beautiful, even with the dirt and burrs in their coats, but that wasn't it. They were interesting to watch as they frolicked carelessly by the water. That wasn't what had her so intrigued either, though.

After a long, heated argument with Mal one morning about Serenity, the Independents and the Alliance, it finally hit her.

They were free.


	25. Close

**Close**

Prompt: #085 She

Notes: Written for fanfic100 on livejournal.

"Are you done yet?" Simon asked, his voice low.

Kaylee glanced up at him from her position on the floor and shook her head. "Almost…" she told him with a smile. "I'm very close."

She began to fiddle with something and Simon sighed.

"How much longer?"

Kaylee rolled her eyes and continued. "I'm almost there," she repeated. "Just a little bit more…"

"Now?"

"Not quite."

Silence.

Simon rubbed at the bridge of his nose with one hand. "What about now?"

"Almost there."

He continued to watch her. "Now!?"

Kaylee slid out from under the control panel and took Simon's hand. "Done."


	26. My Hero

**My Hero**

Characters: River, hints of Mal/Simon and Mal/River  
Notes: Written for ficlets100. Tag to "The Train Job".

"He's my hero."

River heard the words not aloud as Shepherd Book heard them, but in her mind and her soul. Despite their bitter edge, they were not said in the disdain they appeared to hold, but rather in truth. She could see into Mal's heart. She could see the respect he had for Simon; his appreciation for what he'd done.

She could understand also, why he'd want to hide it. It would ruin his image. It would show everyone that he was not as hard as they thought.

Later, River discreetly found Mal and smiled.

"He's my hero, too."


	27. Salty Tears

**Salty Tears**

A trail of salty tears caressed River's cheeks. 

Simon.

She had lost Simon.

Commonsense told her that crying wouldn't bring him back – and she knew deep down that it was true, that he was _dead_ – but she couldn't help it. Human nature was the stronger instinct to follow and it had taken a hold of her.

Logic had left her far behind.

Simon.

He was really gone.

Curling up in Kaylee's arms, she sobbed into the mechanic's shirt. Fabric bunched up in her fist, she held on to her only lifeline now that Simon was lost to her.

"He's gone."


	28. Lost My Way

_(Book)_

**_Lost My Way_**

"I think I'm lost," he murmurs into the empty confines of his quarters. "I think that maybe I've lost my way."

He clasps his hands together, closes his eyes.

In his mind, he sees first his past and then where he is now: Serenity.

The name might suggest peace to anyone who doesn't know the gory details of the war that took place at Serenity Valley. The Battle of Serenity Valley. He knows better and if its namesake has anything to do with it, he's sure that Serenity will be on the losing side of whatever she may come up against.

History had a nasty habit of repeating itself, he had found.

He opens his eyes, looks around him at his new 'home' - if he can call it that. His heart feels heavy in his chest.

"I think I'm on the wrong boat."


	29. An Excellent Crew

_(Serenity's POV)_

_**An Excellent Crew**_

She had an excellent crew.

Captain Malcolm Reynolds was as competent as he was damaged. He knew what to do, where to go, when. He was strong willed and stood up for his beliefs and when she'd met him it had been love at first sight.

Kaylee was her very favourite, however. She had a way with her hands that was fascinating and an even more impressive ability with machines. She helped her, kept her running, nursed her back to health when she got sick. She kept her in the air.

Zoe was loyal. That's all there was to it. She was strong, a fighter, and she was the type to go down with her ship. She had a quiet respect for her.

Jayne was blunt and crude and not the most pleasant of men, but he had his moments. He never ceased to amaze her with his antics.

River was like a little sister. She felt her pain as if it were her own. She saw all that went on between the walls, just as she did. If able, she'd like to have a conversation with River, to exchange stories. She found her intriguing.

Inara was as beautiful as she was graceful and she always made her feel comfortable with the soft silk hangings in the shuttle and the occasional scene of incense wafting in the air. Without her, she felt like her heart was missing, because Inara was just that: a piece of her heart.

Wash of course was another of her favourites. He had so much skill in his flying abilities, so much control, and yet he was gentle and he was funny as well. HI-larious, as Jayne would say. Wash was always nice to her.

Simon was smart, tidy, clean. If there was one thing she loved about him it was that. He had such a caring nature and always put others before himself. He knew when to stand up for himself too – when he settled in properly, at the very least.

Book was a hard one to categorise. He was religious and often entertained her with readings from the book he called a 'bible' and yet there was something mysterious about him that she couldn't quite figure out. He knew things a preacher shouldn't know. He always kept her guessing. He was her favourite puzzle.

Together, her nine ship mates were perfect. They squabbled and fought but in the end, in the grand scheme of things, they were loyal to each other and to her.

She'd change none of them – her family – for anything.

…well, except maybe Jayne.


	30. Stick To The Plan

**_Stick To The Plan_**

"Don't ya think we should maybe not do that anymore?" Wash asks.

Mal looks at him and narrows his eyes. "Now is not the time to change the way that things are done."

"But - "

"We stick to the plan."

"But, Mal. If there's gonna be Alliance there, shouldn't we hold off awhile?" Jayne puts in.

"Makes it more fun," Zoe explains dryly. "Apparently."

"It really does."

"But it's really quite dangerous, isn't it?" Simon enquires. "It could attract unwanted attention. If they find River and I..."

"'s there anyone here apart from me, don't think we should be changing things?"

Silence.

"Zoe?"

She offers him a shrug as if to say 'sorry'.

"Kaylee? Inara?"

Kaylee ducks her head. Inara frowns.

"Anyone?"

He half expected to hear crickets chirping.

"Huh. Well, then."

"Are we going to hold off?" Wash.

"Who's wantin' to eat this month? Keep flyin'?"

A few raised hands and murmured 'yes'es go around.

"In that case, we don't hold off. We do this as planned, at the planned time."

"But the Feds..."

"Now, don't you worry none, Kaylee. We'll be fine. We've seen through worse."

"Well, yes, but - "

"Enough! I'm the captain here and what I say goes." He falls silent and looks at each of the crew in turn. Frowns.

"Really, Mal - "

He sighs loudly. "Fine. We wait. But we don't get paid, I'm blamin' all of you."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Okay."

He leaves the room, scowling.

Wash glances around at the others. "Do you think I should call him back in an' tell him there really are no Feds? That I just made it up?"

Kaylee smirks. "Nah, he doesn't need to know."

"Anyway, it can't hurt to wait a few hours longer to do the job." Zoe.

"That is true. I'd much rather we all stay here and finish our game." Book taps at the cards on the tabletop in front of him and smiles.

Jayne nods. "So, let's get this thing started again, huh?"

Simon smiles in agreement. "Let's."


	31. Everyday Moments

**_Everyday Moments_**

**Notes:** Written for Jewel Staite (and given to her at the Brisbane Supanova).

It was the small things that Kaylee loved.

A smile between friends. A sunset or a sunrise. The blur of colours, sounds and activities planet-side as people went about their lives. A simple gesture that _he_ cared.

It was the everyday moments she believed that could truly make someone's day.

She saw no reason to seek out more than that.

Such beauty and joy was so rare and hard to come by that to ignore what was right there would be foolish.

Every day and night she breathed in the air of the 'verse, Kaylee tried to impart that wisdom on, whether it be with an act of kindness or even just a smile. By the time she was done, the world would be painted a little brighter. It was the least she could do.


	32. Push The Button

**_Push The Button_**

"Why should I trust you?" Wash asks, fixing Jayne with a scrutinising look. He crosses his arms over his chest.

Jayne shrugs carelessly. "Why shouldn't ya?"

"Well, we all know how you can get," Wash drawls, "backstabbing for a bit of coin or killing or the like." He watches Jayne thoughtfully for a moment, considering all the other bad things Jayne had done. "You know, if I were evil, I'd certainly be impressed by you. You're very...talented. When it comes to the bad, I mean."

An almost shy grin forms on Jayne's face. "Yeah? You really think so?" He stops. "Wait. Did you just insult me?"

Ignoring the last question, Wash nods. "I really think. You are one very fine guy for a bad guy. Very."

"Well, uh," Jayne says, flushed, "I do try my best."

"I'd say you do at that."

"So, back to the thing. Can I - " Jayne nods at the control console of Serenity.

"Hmmm," Wash pretends to ponder over it. "I guess you can. But be careful! Real careful. We don't want to be hitting the wrong thing and sending us all hurtling to our deaths." He moves aside and watches Jayne eagerly lean over the console. "The hurtling to our deaths thing would be bad," he adds with a sharp nod.

Jayne lowers his finger until it hovers over the button and then looks up to Wash for confirmation that he can really push it.

"Go ahead," Wash tells him.

Jayne presses down excitedly, once, twice. His boyish grin fades into a scowl. "Well that weren't half as fun as I thought it'd be."

Wash grins.


	33. Towels And Torture

_(Inara)_

**_Towels And Torture_**

The water caressing her back is warm and soothing. It gently pounds the tension out of her muscles and cleanses her. Her skin has never felt more alive or refreshed.

Closing her eyes, she tilts her head back under the spray. She runs her fingers through her hair as the water changes her dark brown locks to an even deeper, almost black colour.

She applies soap, lavender, that a client presented her with on their last meeting and then shampoo and conditioner possessing the same scent. When she's done, she steps back from the calming water and turns the tap very slowly until it is no more.

A towel is waiting for her outside the shower, hung over one of four porcelain railings protruding from the wall. She takes it and it is soft – soft and comfortable and warm.

She tosses it.

It reminds her too much of what's left behind, of who's left behind. On Serenity, they didn't even have the luxury of a shower and here she was, showering and using the finest of towels to dry herself with.

She heads into the bedroom to find her old towel instead. Her old one is also soft, but it's worn out. More importantly, it makes her feel less guilty.

For the entirety of her shower, she had been able to forget everything and relax. She had been able to shed the yearning to call the crew up on the cortex just so she could see their faces and talk to them once more.

Now, those desires flood back to her and the stress begins to pile up again. She should have expected no less. It happens the same way every time she takes a shower.

Only the next time, she swears to herself, there will be no old towel filled with memories or otherwise to go running back to. She wouldn't let it torture her any longer.


	34. Pretending

**_Pretending_**

She pretends that everything is okay.

She pretends that she is not miserable and that she is in fact very happy, excited even, that she left Serenity for the Companion Training House.

She pretends that the classes she teaches are what she has always wanted and that they fulfill her.

She pretends that everything is going smooth.

She pretends she doesn't miss her old life on Serenity every moment of every day, even when the desire to run back there is so overwhelming and strong that she's certain she'll break.

She pretends that she is exactly where she ought to be.

She knows she isn't.

It's all a lie.


	35. Follow You

**_Follow You_**

No matter where life took him in the verse, Mal knew that Zoe would always be by his side.

She had followed him and stayed with him throughout the brutal horrors of war. She had followed him after the war and joined him on Serenity, in his attempt to find freedom from all the memories that haunted him. She had followed him on the mission to Miranda where he had believed they would be able to endanger or at least debunk a miniscule part of the evil that was Alliance.

And she had lost so much with him.

She had lost her faith. She had lost the life she may have had if she had not signed up with the Independents and even the crew of Serenity. She had lost her husband on Miranda and _still_, after almost a year, she had not gotten over his death in the slightest.

She was quiet about it and didn't let on, but Mal knew it.

He could see it in her eyes.

Zoe was falling and it was because of him. She was falling because she followed him.

_fin._


	36. Abandon Ship

**_Abandon Ship_**

"Abandon ship! We're going down in flames!" Wash's voice crackled through the static of the comm system. Not an ounce of his usual humorous self was evident, but rather his serious side. Wash being serious meant it was time to be concerned.

Mal, rather than heeding his advice, ran for the bridge taking the steps from the hall two at a time. He grabbed the now unused comm and turned to Wash. "How're we going? We're not really goin' down this time, right? You'd better hope we're not."

Glancing up momentarily, Wash shook his head grimly. "Can't tell you that, Cap. This crashing thing is pretty definitely in my mind."

"How's about out of your mind?"

"Same deal. We're gonna crash this time, no doubt about it."

Mal frowned and turned to the comm device. Talking into it, he relayed Wash's announcement. "It appears our time in the sky is up," he began, "so we're takin' her down. Could get a bit rough, there'll likely be some crashin' and then flames. You don't want to burn up and die, I suggest you get to a shuttle quick fast. Same arrangement as last time."

He turned the comm off, only to find Wash staring at him in horror. "You're planning on staying?" he exclaimed. "But the planet's just there! We're gonna crash!"

"It's my ship," Mal reasons, "and she's my life. She goes down, so do I."

"But, Mal! You don't have to die. Come with us."

"Thought you didn't much like me. Save me and I'll come 'tween you and Zoe again, with our luck."

Wash glared at him. "That may be true, but no for the reasons you may think. I don't want you dead anyhow, so why don't we sneak onto a shuttle before we crash and die horribly."

"Oh? There's another reason?"

Wash glanced at the screen beside him. It won't be long now. A look through the front window confirms it. He can see the planet coming up fast as Serenity shakes under the pressure.

"Fine!" he said. "I like you. Zoe likes you. Hell, all the crew likes you." He paused. "Well, expect maybe Jayne. But that's beside the point. We gotta get to a shuttle. Now!"

Without waiting for Mal to answer, Wash grabbed his arms and tugged him towards the door. Mal pulled away easily.

"Mal."

Mal stared out the front at the ever enlarging planet. He turned to look around Serenity for one last time. Patting her affectionately, he whispered, 'goodbye', and joined Wash by the doorway.

"Let's go," he said.

Ten or so minutes later, from a shuttle, they watched Serenity take her final dive onto the planet below.

Tears filled Mal's eyes.

_fin._


	37. Figured You Out

**_Figured You Out_**

_Now I know who you are_

_It wasn't that hard_

_Just figured you out_

_- 'Figured You Out' by Nickelback_

"You're not one of them anymore," Mal says thoughtfully. "A year back you were, but now you're one of us. You belong with us." He runs his tongue over his lips and frowns. "'Course I can't stop you if you wanna go back. It's not my place."

Pinching the bridge of his nose between his index finger and thumb, Mal falls silent. He releases his nose and begins to fiddle with his ear.

Simon watches his every move.

"I don't think you do want to leave," Mal adds. "If you really didn't like it here you'd have gone a long while ago."

Simon shakes his head. "It's not that I don't like it here, on Serenity. I do. We both do. It's just…River. She needs something more than this. She needs to live a normal life."

"River, normal?" Mal snorts. "Those two never do fit well."

"So, now you're insulting my sister. That's…just great. Thank you. You're really making this easy for me." Simon frowns. "Anyway, I'm leaving. River and I are leaving. Nothing you say or do will change that."

Shrugging, Mal runs a hand through his silky brown hair. "Fair enough. I'll tell the crew."

"So that's it? You're not going to fight for me?"

"You askin'?"

Simon frowns.

"As I said, it ain't my place. You feel the need to move on, it's your choice."

"Right."

"Now. Are you going to go or not?"

Simon stares at him for a moment. He runs a hand through his hair. "Yes," he finally says. "I'm going. River and I are going."

Mal nods once and heads for the door. "I'll tell the crew," he says again.

Simon's heart is heavy as he watches him go.

_fin._


	38. Anchor

_(Mal/Simon)_

_**Anchor**_

Mal was Simon's anchor. He held him down and kept him sane when things got tough. He was there for him when River wasn't taking to her latest batch of medicine well. He was the one who Simon felt the strongest connection to of all the crew, Kaylee included.

He was the one whose heart he was bound to.

It was a love/hate relationship. When Simon had originally come aboard Serenity, it had been hate. Things had gradually eased though as time passed, until now, it was a relationship more of the love variety, although they did have their moments. It was amazing just how much things could change, really. If Simon had been asked before he'd found his place on Serenity if he thought he'd find someone to be with like Malcolm Reynolds, he'd have laughed.

They were the complete opposite of each other. Simon himself was a rich boy, who had been raised on the core with an excellent education and everything available to his use. Mal had nothing but a few close friends and war buddies and had fought his way to get what few material possessions he owned. They made an extremely unlikely pair, but then again, opposites did attract.

With Mal by his side, Simon knew he couldn't go wrong. That's how it was most of the time, anyway – excepting the times when the crew were out on a job or dangerous mission or some such, of course. Mal's plans were always sketchy…if he even had a plan at all.

Simon spent those times in the mess reading, watching over River and worrying. Sometimes the worry was so great that he'd lose focus and find his grip on reality slipping. Every time Mal went out, he stood a chance of being shot, injured, or even worse, killed. Simon always made sure he was ready to face anything, so that he'd be able to fall into doctor mode in an instant.

If he wanted Mal to remain his anchor, his touchstone, he'd have to stay alive to do it. And he sure as hell wanted that. Mal was his anchor and that was final. They were bound by ties that went beyond the physical and no power in the verse could change that.

_fin._


	39. Getting Through

**_Getting Through_**

"But what about the others?" Simon asked, nervously looking Mal in the eye. "What will they think? Do we – do we say something?" He chewed at the end of his thumb, his index finger lightly placed on his nose and the rest of his fingers splayed out across his face. Barely restrained fear present in his eyes, he stared expectantly at the Captain.

Mal moved closer and slapped him heartily on the back, a carefree grin spreading up to his eyes. "Nah, why tell 'em?" he replied. "Ain't none of their business, so I don't see why we should. An', after all, who's to say it'll work 'tween us? Not nothing. For all we know it'll be over 'fore the weeks' end."

Simon nodded slowly in apprehension, feeling the weight of Mal's hand fall firmly to his back and remain there. "Yes, I guess that makes sense." He let his gaze slide to the metal grating of Serenity's floor, somewhat disappointed that Mal didn't want anyone else to know despite he himself being more than a little hesitant at the notion.

"Hey now, doc," Mal said, tuning into his confusion. "Let's jus' keep it to ourselves for now. Later we can say somethin' maybe, but not yet. 'kay?" He smiled encouragingly at Simon, his hand absently rubbing his back in a comforting gesture.

The corner of Simon's mouth twitched up into a smile and yet again he found himself wondering what he did to get Mal. They had been near enemies when Simon had first come about, but now…things had changed.

"Yes, Captain," Simon agreed, smiling.

_fin._


	40. Now?

_(Mal/Jayne)_

**_Now?_**

"It's now or never, Jayne," Mal slurred, drunkenly. "Now or…n…n…never!" He slapped the mercenary on the back and offered him a cocky grin, while swaying dangerously close to the waters' edge.

Jayne smirked and grabbed at his hand playfully, wrapping it around his waist and inadvertently tangling their limbs.

"Now or never," he repeated, stifling a giggle. He stumbled slightly and almost fell, but somehow managed to remain upright. Clutching at Mal's shirt to steady himself, he buried his head in the captain's neck.

For a moment they stood still, the effects of the alcohol temporarily disengaged.

The moment didn't last long.

Mal choked out a giggle and reached out to pat Jayne on the head, changing his mind at the last second and spiking it up between his fingers instead. He leaned in closer. "Now or nev – argh!"

He flailed wildly as the water came up towards him fast, Jayne alongside him. Had Jayne not knotted their limbs together earlier, one of them may have survived, but since he had….

SPLASH!!!

Several seconds passed before both of them emerged, spluttering. Another few seconds passed while they caught their breath. Then…

"Now?"

_fin._


	41. Slipped Away

**_Slipped Away_**

The last thing that he wanted was to hurt her. He didn't want her to be in pain. He didn't want to see the twinkle in her eyes extinguished, to fade into nothing. He didn't want any of it.

Regardless of his desires, that was exactly what he had to do and he knew as he stood before her that he'd never forgive himself for doing so.

He slowly raised his eyes from the muddy patch that had been trawled in through Serenity's cargo bay to meet Kaylee's worried gaze. He swallowed and looked back down. This was harder than he had imagined. Too hard.

"Capt'n?" she asked softly.

He closed his eyes for a moment and then opened them again.

"How is he? How's Simon? It's not bad, is it?"

He could feel his heart clench tightly and painfully in his chest in response to her words.

This was not supposed to happen.

This wasn't right in the slightest.

Meeting her gaze once more, he nodded once, slowly. He couldn't speak because he was too consumed in the way Kaylee's expression changed from hopeful to desperate and pained. It reminded him all too much of the horrors of his own past.

"Oh god."

He watched as she crumpled to the ground mindless of the dirt that stained the knees of her coveralls. He watched as the last of her innocence slipped away.

"Simon's dead."

_fin._


	42. Ice In His Heart

_**Ice In His Heart**_

It's like ice in his heart when he finds out.

_He's leaving._

_Simon's leaving._

Of course he should have seen it coming. What would a pretty boy like Simon want from a ragged, war-hardened criminal like him?

What did he have to offer Simon that the good Doctor couldn't find elsewhere?

Now that he'd found a safe place for his dear an' crazy sister and himself, there was nothing Mal could offer…

Except for his heart – and clearly that wasn't enough.

If it had been enough, Simon wouldn't have taken his sister and left. Simon would still be on Serenity.

_fin._


	43. Fine Silver

_A/N: Crack fic._

**_Fine Silver_**

"That's some mighty fine silver you got there, preacher!"

Shepherd Book glances up from the bible he'd been ready to consider his intruder with confused eyes. "Hmm? What was that?" he asks.

"Your hair," comes the reply. "It's so...wiry and shimmery and ooh! I love how long it is. Has it always been that long? Well, no, I suppose it weren't back when you was just a babe, but - "

"Yes, yes." Book waves a hand in the air. "That's, uh, quite enough. Thank you." He narrows his eyes when his visitor continues to stare at him, presumably admiring his hair.

'_What has happened to the 'verse_?', he wonders in slight amazement.

"Are you done staring at my hair yet?" he says aloud.

Curious eyes poke back at him. His question goes ignored.

"Can I touch it?"

_fin._


	44. It’s Time You Knew

_A/N: Crack fic. Implied Kaylee/Simon, Mal/Inara and Mal/Simon._

**_It's Time You Knew_**

River swings the bag Kaylee gave her back and forth at her side. Grinning at every new stall they pass by and at every new face, she drinks in the atmosphere hungrily. She can feel the coins rattle together in the purse Jayne helped her tie around her wrist. They sing to her, begging to be released and exchanged with items on the stands. Or so she tells Simon, Mal and Inara.

"They want to be free, to feel their brethren beside them all lined up. Shiny pennies in a jar."

Mal considers her, a confused expression on his face. Inara smiles softly and Simon just sighs.

"River?" he says.

She nods her head.

"Is there anything you'd like to buy? Some art supplies maybe?" He aims a hopeful look across from the cotton candy stall they're mulling around.

A thought occurs to her and she nods again. Taking them all by surprise, she grasps Mal's hand in her own and leads him quickly back the way they came. He has no choice but to follow. Her hold on him is tight.

"Over there." She points.

Mal's eyes widen and he shakes his head and mouths 'no' to her.

"It's time," she insists.

Simon and Inara catch up to them then. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," Mal says, shifting his feet.

"It's time," River says again.

"Time for what sweetie?" Inara asks.

"Time you knew."

With that, River swiftly retrieves some coins and tosses them on the table. A startled but pleased worker hands over her choice of merchandise. River gives it to Mal.

"I...what?" he says.

"You know what to do."

Shrugging, Mal holds the ring out to Inara. She stares at him in bewilderment. Red flushes her face.

River snatches the ring back. "No," she says. "For Simon!"

"Huh?" Mal blinks.

"To give to Kaylee," she explains as if it's the most obvious thing.

"Oh! Right then! Here you go, doc."

Simon awkwardly takes the ring.

"Also I want cheese." River grins and skips away.

_fin._


	45. Love Just Is

_**Love Just Is**_

Love just is. It is as true as the sun brings light. It is there even at the worst of times and is perhaps the strongest force in the universe. It is love keeps Serenity in the air and it is love that binds the crew together, eternally connected to each other since the moment their paths first collided.

Love just is and to mess with it is a hopeless feat. Even through pain, there is love. It's what keeps them fighting. It gives everything a reason for being. It gives them hope. It is warm and it is heartbreaking and it is pure and true.

Love keeps them flying.

_fin._


	46. Rough on the Edge

_(Mal)_

_**Rough on the Edge**_

_Your finger is on the trigger  
So say goodbye, tonight_  
"Shimmy A Go Go", Short Stack

It's rough out on the edge. Life is a thing to be cherished, for one tiny slip and you can find you're staring down the barrel of a gun and trying not to wet yourself or get killed.

Been that way his whole life and it still turns his inards inside out when he comes into such a situation.

He tries his damndest to be on the side of the person holding the gun - if he's not the one with the gun, that is. Makes life less dicey. Ups his chances of survival.

Because that's all there is out in the black. It's a fight for survival and everyone is out for themselves. Gotta make it on your own.

_fin._


	47. My Girl

_**My Girl**_

She's brilliant, my Vera. No other gun quite like her. Twas a good day when I got 'er, too. Sun was hot on my face and back. Could feel the sweat soaking through my tee. Was going about my merry own way and then there she was, right in front of me.

Was my enemy at first but I got the besta her owners and claimed her as my own. She ain't never betrayed me since, even helped me outta some nasty places. She's a Callahan full-bore auto-lock. Customized trigger, double cartridge thorough gauge. Mighty fine gun. She's my girl. My Vera. Ain't nothing'll change that, not of everything out in the 'verse.

_fin._


	48. Without Kaylee

_**Without Kaylee**_

_I know I'll sink without you,  
Take this ocean of pain that is mine,  
Throw me a lifeline_  
- Brook Fraser "Lifeline"

Without Kaylee, she is barely anything. She's a weak imitation, more ready to fall to pieces and break. More difficult to put back together. Kaylee gets her. Kaylee understands.

The girl is a wonder, with her deft fingers and warm heart and her knowledge of engine parts.

Without Kaylee, she'll very likely crash and burn one day. She will sink. And without Kaylee to throw her a lifeline and reel her back in, she will meet her end.

_fin._


	49. Ignore the Extras

_(Mal)_

_**Ignore the Extras**_

He hasn't always been this way. Once upon a time, he was carefree like any other guy. He had his beliefs still too, not like now. He was happy and free and jus' waiting for the 'verse to open up opportunities for him.

His time in the 'verse beat any innocence out of him that he had, and made him rethink his position on some things. Now? Now he is just bitter. A mean old man. There is little in him that feels compelled to run through an open field for no reason other than to feel the burn in his legs and the sun on his face. There is little that makes him smile.

His focus is always on the job, and then when that's done, it's on the next job and putting food in the mouths of his crew and cashy money in their pockets enough that they can keep float. Other things are of little importance. Or so he tells himself.

It's easier that way. Keep to the necessary and ignore the extras and you'll never go wanting something more than that. It won't break you down so much if you fall and lose it. It won't kill you and break your heart to lose a love or a friend or a ship.

Lies. It will always hurt. But if there's nothing there to start with, then nothing can be destroyed or taken away. And that's something.

Life makes you cynical. That's what he has found. The more you know about things, the less you wanna know of them, and the more you get to realize that in the long run none of it matters. Nothin' but living and keeping on flying matters.

And so that's what he does. He hasn't always been this way, with his realistic thoughts and hardened exterior, but then, if he was still that boy he once was, the 'verse would be a very cruel place to him. A guy's gotta know when to grow up and when to harden up.

_fin._


	50. There Will Always be Casualties

_(Mal)_

_**There Will Always be Casualties**_

Ain't much one can do for the fallen. Jus' leave 'em and keep on moving, keep on fighting. That's what Mal tells himself as he leaves another friend in the dust, a newly earned bullet hole through his chest. In war, someone has to fall. There will always be casualties. That's all there is to it.

War is horrible, devastating. It ruins lives more than it fixes them, and sometimes it doesn't even fix things. It can be like slipping a bandaid on. For awhile the losing side may be broken and useless to stand up for themselves, but that bandaid can be ripped off; they can take to the sky again and beat back their enemies if left alone long enough.

It's not always the way of it, but it's possible.

Mal lets out a sigh. Sometimes all you can do is your best. You can stand tall and strong and fight til you can't fight no more, and you can be sure to not give in. You can watch your mate's backs and be there to carry them home when they fall, but in the end, that's it. That's all there is to it.

Put short, war's hellish.

_fin._


	51. Treat her Proper

_(Mal/Serenity)_

_**Treat her Proper**_

He touches the cold metal of the ship, his palm down flat, merely brushes against it as his companion leads him past it and to another ship. In that moment between moments, he can tell it is the one for him. The Firefly class transport is a sturdy ship. Perhaps not the most desirable out of those on offer, but it's one that he's sure will do him well. It's one he can see himself living in and building a crew up in. Making a life together with.

Serenity, he thinks. It's a perfect name. He'll call her Serenity.

He becomes aware of his companion saying something. "You treat her proper; she'll be with you the rest of your life." The man is still talking about the other ship, a much more popular ship of those he can choose from. "So, can I sort you out for her?"

Mal shakes his head and nods toward the Firefly, ignoring the look of confusion on the man's face. "I'll take that one."

_fin._


	52. Death Struck

_**Death Struck**_

Death. It never did get any easier to deal with. Lives lost in any manner left behind pain. The wrenching feeling a person gets in their gut when they lose a loved one was not one that could be ignored. It was much worse when the death was an unnatural one, a death occurring well before the person's time should be up.

In this case, it was two of his crew. Mal had allowed himself to care for these people and they cared for him, and then he led them right to their deaths. Wash wasn't supposed to be caught up in anything like this. He was a pilot, a simple man, who possessed no ill feelings toward enemy and friend alike. He joked around and was cheery and always ready to defend those he felt were being unrightly targeted.

And Shepherd Book was a preacher. Hadn't always been, Mal knew, but that he had been in the time he was on Serenity was something. Something that mattered. Book belonged to some old rock, in amongst his rock garden and preachy whatever they weres. Not dead. Not gone from this world. He didn't deserve any of this. Neither of them did.

But then, that's how death struck. It didn't care who it took down or who it hurt in the process. It just was. It took who it wanted and left everyone else until their time. And that was just it. Everyone would have their time. Each and every one of his remaining crew had their own deaths to look forward to some day.

_fin._


	53. Struck by Moonlight & Realisation

_**Struck by Moonlight & Realisation**_

_"Nothing's fine, I'm torn_  
_I'm all out of faith"_  
(Torn by Natalie Imbruglia)

He lifts the cross on the end of the chain around his neck up to his lips, holding it tightly between index finger and thumb. The silver metal is slightly cold against his mouth, slightly warm from being pressed up to the warmth of his chest for so long. Its edges dig in. He kisses it. Gunfire and explosions rage on around him.

They lose the fight in the end. So few of them are left and without air support it is a lost cause. They were relying on that gorram air support to get them over the line!

He yanks the chain clear off his neck, not even wincing at the sharp pain. He's had worse. His jaw clenches. The chain falls to the ground and the cross glints up at him, struck by moonlight. He walks away.

_fin._


	54. Last to Know

_**Last to Know**_

_And when she left me for you,_

_I was the last to know_

He hadn't seen it coming. Jayne was everything that he was not. It was hard to believe that Kaylee would want something so... not like him. Someone not like him.

Why would someone as sweet and kind as Kaylee fall for a guy who was rude and disrespectful, and as rough as Jayne? There was no logical answer that he could think of.

Simon wasn't the most confident guy in the 'verse, but he had been quite sure Kaylee wouldn't fall for Jayne. It was like a searing pain in his chest. He was stunned.

But there it was. Kaylee didn't want him anymore. She had moved on. She was happy. Apparently her union with Jayne had been a long time coming. The rest of the crew had seen the signs.

The only pain he'd allow himself to feel about the situation was the fact that he had been the last to know.

_fin._


	55. Mine Again

_**Mine Again**_

Don't worry. Really. There's no need. I see the way you look at me, with those emotions barely concealed. I'm here to tell you that you can stop now. You don't have to look at me that way anymore.

See, I'm fixed now. They did something, the doctors. They did something good and now I'm myself again. I can remember things and they are about me. None of them are foreign to me. None are fake. They are all real and vibrant and mine.

Mine.

I like that word. It feels nice to say it. Mine.

Brother of mine, your time looking after me has come to an end. You don't need to protect me anymore. You don't have to worry. It's time for you to live your own life. And it's time for me to begin living mine again.

_fin._


	56. Broken Systems

_Inara_

_**Broken Systems**_

She thinks back to the days when she could easily say, "I support unification", and frowns. Those days were not that long ago, but now that her opinion has been changed, they feel a lifetime away. They were simpler times, easier. She wasn't nearly as caught up in politics then, or anywhere near as concerned about hidden agendas. She was foolish.

Her time on Serenity has done much for her but most of all, it has opened her eyes to the unjust. So much pain and darkness is present in the universe and it is impossible to avoid. Things like Alliance control can be voted against though. It can be challenged. After what she has seen – the death and the aftermath of what happened at Miranda at the hands of the Alliance – her opinions have changed. Hardened.

The Alliance isn't the epitome of all that is right in the world and all that will right the world. In fact, it is the body of injustice. They ignore people on the outer planets. They experiment with innocents' brains and change them for the rest of their lives. They are notably ungoverned for what is supposed to be the most powerful and influential government. The system is broken.

No longer can she turn a blind eye to it and pretend everything is shiny. The days are darker now, and her mind, clearer.

_Fin._


	57. Daffodils

_**Daffodils**_

Daffodils, vibrant yellow, with emerald green stalks and leaves that glimmered green beneath the sunlight. There was a field of them, and she was amongst them. A simple white dress, swirling around her. Swishing. Brushing against her legs. Cool dirt and grass beneath her feet. Flowers springing from the bare patches. The scent of daffodils, sweet, on the air.

She smiled, feeling free. River and Kaylee danced ahead of her, ahead of the rest of the crew. Enjoying themselves. Enjoying this newfound serenity and quiet. The wilderness was refreshing. The crew's excitement was revitalising.

Her guard was coming down and she was learning to relax again. A feeling lost to her for years. It isn't easy relaxing on a ship that could fall to pieces any moment. It isn't easy when you're running from something. But today is perfect. Simple. Refreshing.

She leans down, picks a daffodil. Lifts it to her nose and breathes it in. It isn't always all bad, out here, she realises one more time. In fact, sometimes it is better than she could ever imagine. Sweeter. Real.

_Fin._


	58. Of Proximity

_**Of Proximity**_

For the most part, she didn't pretend to care about the well-being of those at the Companion Training House on her next visit there. It was only to pick up her belongings and cut any ties that she still had with them. To be perfectly honest, she had formed bonds with some of them, but most were based on the job and didn't matter. Most of the relationships she had were of proximity rather than family or friendship that would span time itself.

There was one girl though that she really had come to care about and it was with a guilty heart that she waved her goodbye. The girl, Arianne, had faced some terrible things and Inara had promised to be there for her and to help her through it. She would not be able to help her now.

_fin._


	59. Rough Waters & Anchors

_**Rough Waters & Anchors**_

She couldn't deal with any more loss. That was why she had to leave. The connections she had made with the crew of Serenity were growing too strong; they were beginning to feel like family. It was disastrous. It was exactly the kind of bond she had been trying to flee when she boarded the ship in the first place.

Such ties were dangerous. Like anchors they held a person in a single place and pulled them down to drown when the waters grew too rough. Her seas were burbling and boiling and crashing and crushing.

It broke her heart - no, shattered it, into millions of tiny, unfixable pieces - and made her ache, but she knew what had to be done.

Her leaving would be best for all of them. They might not see it at first, but then they didn't know all the facts - they never would if she had any say in the matter.

The truth of it was, they all had sneaked into her heart, tattooed themselves into it, and left no doubt in her that she would break if anything were to happen to any of them. Even Jayne. It was best to leave.

She refused to be around knowing that it could very well be putting her plans in danger. Her escape. Staying was not worth the risk.

_fin_


	60. Salt & Water

_**Salt & Water**_

The ocean spread out before them, seeming to have no end. Inara stared out across it, over the tiny, white-capped waves and the crystalline blue triangles beneath those caps. Few oceans were as clear as this one. Once upon a time there had been an abundance of lakes and rivers and oceans sporting fresh, clean water like it, but that was long ago. Gone were the days of naturally beautiful expanses of water. Mostly there were just bioluminescent lakes around now, that were Alliance-made and guarded.

Inara could taste the salt on the air. She sighed as a feeling of warmth sank deep beneath her skin. The heat was not purely because of the sun, shining brightly and spilling glorious rays of light over the ocean, or the sand beneath her feet and squidging between her toes. Being there and simply experiencing the beauty of the ocean and the beach and the sun were things enough to warm her, both inside and out. Nothing was quite as stunning or awe-inspiring as the beauty of nature. It was a feeling that she knew would be gone all too soon, the moment they all boarded Serenity once more and took off. She would miss it.

_Fin._


	61. Warm Fingers

_**Warm Fingers**_

All she wanted was a hand to hold. Warm fingers threaded through hers. Companionship from someone who wanted her for who she was rather than for someone faked, or just a body. True love or even temporary love, was hard to come by and she doubted it would find her onboard Serenity.

Serenity was a beautiful ship. She was home. But living on a ship limits your interactions with people, and you don't see anyone but those else who live on the ship.

And surely what she is feeling toward the Captain – pure irritation with a touch of affection and denial – isn't as good as it gets. Right?

_fin_


	62. Prancing About

_**Prancing About**_

"How is a guy 'spose to relax when there's a couple o' girls prancing about in dresses like that?" Jayne said. He smirked when Mal gave him a disgusted look.

"That's Kaylee an' River you're gawking at."

"And more'n just my eyes are pleased."

"Jayne," Mal warned.

"What? It's true. They ain't half bad scrubbed up."

"Thank you, Jayne," Kaylee's voice wafted across the room. Both men focused on her; she stood, her hands on her hips and a pout on her lips. "At least one of you thinks so."

"See Mal. They like it."

As if to prove his point, River joined them. She said nothing but grinned rather manically at Jayne. He returned the smile.

Mal managed to resist knocking him over the head. "Come on!" he argued. "The way you were looking at them is just plain wrong. It's gross is what it is."

"It ain't gross to be thought of as pretty," Kaylee put in.

"I'm trying to help you," he shot back. "This is Jayne we're talkin' about and-"

"Cap'n?" Kaylee nudged him on the shoulder. "You okay?"

Beside him, Jayne snorted. "Hypocrite," he muttered.

Kaylee poked Mal again and he came to his senses.

"And," he continued, "And that's how it is."

Not a moment later, Inara announced her presence, though all but Kaylee had already seen her. Kaylee glowered and looked at Mal with a pointed look. "So, you were sayin', Cap'n?"

Mal gulped.

_fin._


	63. With Child

_**With Child**_

Cool metal grazed her stomach. She let out a silent gasp. Fingers followed the metal and then both pressed more firmly against her skin.

"Breathe," the man said.

Though everything in her was afraid, she forced herself to obey. The next few moments lasted an eternity.

"Okay. Everything looks normal." The fingers and metal - now warmed by her skin - were removed.

She glanced around as she sat up, reacquainting herself with the room. The last thing she looked at was the man. "So, doctor," she asked. "Am I with child?"

The man looked grim. "Must I remind you that as a Companion it is strongly preferred you don't have children or give birth?"

She nodded. "Of course."

The doctor sighed. "The... growth… can easily be removed this far in."

She let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. "I'm pregnant?"

He nodded. Nothing more. There was no need for more than that.

_fin_


	64. Lies & Complications

_**Lies & Complications**_

_I can't stay here. I can't deal with being here any longer with the bonds I've made, the friends I've found. It's not right. It isn't how a Companion is supposed to be._

Lies, more or less. She has to tell herself something though, to lessen the pain of leaving Serenity and her crew behind. That she is very much attached to each and every person aboard Serenity is something she knows will never be changed or altered or affected by her lying to herself, but even so, she tries and she tells herself things are very wrong for her and that she should leave.

Talking herself into leaving doesn't make it any less difficult to put into action.

_I can't stay here and be the same person. A Companion's life is one of luxuries and rich men and beauty and silk – not of cowboys and psychics and heists and gunfire. _

To some level, she can't see why both worlds should not join, but then she recalls life in the core planets and remembers. There are many reasons for her worlds to remain separate. For them to collide would be chaos. It couldn't possibly work. And yet, for the past year or more, she has been dabbling into both worlds. It just hasn't been the same. It hasn't fit. And it never will.

_It's better for everyone._

Sometimes she thinks about how complicated things can be. (Rarely does anyone admit to thinking about the simple things, she has found.) It occurs to her, on those days, that she is one of the most complex creatures on Serenity. She has a double life – the life she lives as a Companion and her life on Serenity, when she pushes the Companion part of her to the side to make way for rougher activities, like helping out Kaylee in the engine room.

In the end, things would surely be easier for the crew if she wasn't around. Right?

_I want to leave._

She tells herself many things and wonders about even more. Sometimes she tells herself she doesn't want to be on Serenity at all. That is her biggest and most painful lie.

_Fin._


	65. Nightmare Material

_Tag to 'Serenity BDM'._

_**Nightmare Material**_

She has the urge to sit and do nothing but any time that she does, thoughts of Wash and Book enter her mind. They were good men. Friends. Neither man was deserving of such an end. They shouldn't have been taken.

What happened at Miranda was bad enough on its own. The loss of two of their own made it nightmare material. The situation wasn't perfect. Nothing in the 'verse was perfect, she had come to realise. But then, there is just plain unfair and the loss of Wash and Book is most definitely that.

She ends up pacing the length of her shuttle, her mind restless and wanting. Wanting peace. Craving the sound of Wash's jokes and Zoe's laughter, and missing Book's quiet strength and companionship. In the end she settles for going to the mess and putting on some tea for those left behind.

_Fin._


	66. A Peeling Sky

_**A Peeling Sky**_

The day the sky fell, he hid in Serenity's belly and waited. Space rocks and other odd bits and pieces shot past and caused havoc. Some bits hit Serenity, lashed against her side. Others drifted harmlessly past her. He waited and watched and prepared himself for the big ol' piece of rock that would destroy something vital and end them all.

That big rock didn't come.

Instead, lots of tiny ones twinkled about and roughed up Serenity til she was bruised. She groaned her discomfort and faltered a few times, but did not yield. She wouldn't yield. She would fight to stay in the sky as long as she could. He knew this and he also knew he would do anything to keep her safe.

He was hers as much as she was his. Maybe more.

The sky was peeling away at the corners and beginning to crash around them like angry waves upon a beachfront. It was mighty fierce, tossing up his lunch a good amount. Weren't much he could do but hold on. Serenity held on with him, and together, they waited out the storm.

They waited out the end of the universe, the end of everything, the day the sky fell.

_fin._


	67. Better to Survive

_**Better to Survive**_

It isn't in his nature to forgive. Maybe once it had been, but that's a long time past. Now is different. Now is harder, sharper, fiercer. He can't afford to forgive anyone and he sure as hell can't afford to forget. Both those things lead to danger; the path to forgiveness has its fair share of mines. Step on the wrong place, move the wrong foot and you'll no longer have a foot.

He's been a fool many a times, giving folk a hand out when they need it and doing what he can. Good amount of them have stabbed him for it - some in the back, others went for a more direct route to the chest. Is a good thing he's had practice dodging, really. His dodging skills have saved him more than a few times, a lot of those times, quite by accident. When human instinct kicks in, it kicks in hard. Just as now, his belief that people are hwoon dahns looking out for themselves and not nobody else, is strong.

Calls for more dodging and such. Been a fair while since anybody's proved it different. The world used to be quieter, simpler, he feels, and the state it is in now is damaging, despairing.

Better to shoot a guy or stab him than to wait about and see if he'll do the same to you. Better to survive and ask questions later. Better not to trust anyone. Better not to let anyone in.

It's only logical. It makes sense. Buckets of sense. Sad as it is, that's the way of the world now. Forgiveness is a weakness. He has no room left for forgiveness.

_fin._


	68. Travel the Skies

**_Travel the Skies_**

Sometimes, he wanted badly to get up and leave everything behind him. Find a ship, take her out to travel the skies, make her a home. Leave the dust and the dirt behind him. Start anew. The idea of it made him warm inside, and hopeful. That was a mighty thing: few sources were available to him these days that gave him hope.

It was only desires though, only dreams. What were the chances of any of it actually happening? What were the chances he'd get a break and have time and the freedom to explore the universe?

He would sigh when he realised how unlikely it would be for anything to occur and then he would get back to messing out the stables. The work was easy - too easy - so it wouldn't take long for him to zone out and for his mind to start back on the same topic all over again, the vicious cycle that it was.

Eventually, his mother or one of the 'hands would notice him staring into the distance. They'd slap him gently across the back of the head and that would be that. He'd get to work then, and work solidly until the next day came along. The same thing would happen over and over.

But still, he would return to those thoughts. He would keep dreaming. He would pray.

One day, he was certain, he would take to the sky and never look back.

_fin._


	69. Firefly Class

_**Firefly Class**_

Weren't no sense in buyin' a ship he didn't love. The ship the man guided him to and spoke of was not one he could see himself falling for. It was nice enough, but it was missing something. It didn't' have… personality. It wasn't _him_. It didn't speak to him. It was empty, and merely a ship, a thing.

Another ship did call his name, though. She was a beauty, way back away from where the other ship lay. A Firefly class vessel. A real beauty, for sure. She gleamed under the sunlight. It was as if she were winking at him. And he couldn't help it. Something inside of him knew instantly they were meant to be. He fell for her. Hard.

He grew aware, after awhile, of the salesman bumbling on about the other ship and cut him off. "I want that one," he said, pointing.

"But that's a wreck. You want something better, something like this."

"No," he said. "I want that one."

The man shook his head, but led him over. "She's had a rough life, I'd say. Might not have much left in her."

"How much do you want for her?"

Sighing, the man told him.

"That's a bit pricey, after you tellin' me she might not last."

"That's the deal. Take it or leave it."

He considered his options. Take this fine ship, this Firefly class vessel, and maybe risk her breakin' down soon. Or buy some shiny but emotionless piece he felt nothing for.

As he handed over the cashy money, he realised that Zoe would kill him. Zoe's wrath would be a small price to pay for this ship, though. He was sure of it. This ship would be with him til the day that he died.

He'd call her _Serenity_.

_fin._


	70. This is a Date

_**This is a Date**_

"What do you mean this is a date?" Mal asked.

Simon looked confused and bewildered. "Uh, well, you know how, uh..."

"We're together, cap'n. You know. As a couple. Having a meal." Kaylee felt the need to be helpful seeing as her date obviously was not up to the task. "Isn't that what you and Inara are doing?" She grinned when Inara flushed red beside her; Mal glared back.

"No. We're just out for a meal. Date. Ha. Why would we be on a date?"

"You did look awfully coupley when you came in," Simon helped.

"Not helpful," Kaylee told him, patting his arm.

"But this isn't a date. Is it, Inara?" He looked to her for support.

She smiled nervously back at him. "Well... the thing is..."

"What now?"

"I was under the impression it is," she finished.

"See?" Kaylee said. "You're on a date, cap'n. Just like us."

"Huh," Mal said.

"Does that, uh, mean we're on a double date right now?" Simon interjected.

"No?" Mal.

Inara rolled her eyes but said nothing, letting Kaylee explain.

"Basically," the mechanic said, "Yes."

The four of them shared glances, some overjoyed and others not quite as much.

Mal was first to speak. "So, this date thing. It involves food?"

_fin._


	71. Improvised Wires

_**Improvised Wires**_

"Ain't no way to fix her," Kaylee sad. "Not without new parts."

Mal frowned, but after a moment asked, "What do you need?"

Kaylee was maybe a quarter of the way through her list when Mal waved for her to stop. "Okay. Here's what we're going to do. First, you're going to narrow that down to half. Then you buy what's a must have to get this ship up and runnin' again and we get the rest of this job done. Got it?"

She nodded. "But capt'n, I'm not sure I can do half. Lot of this stuff is vital to-"

"Do what you can. Improvise."

"Understood." Sighing, she bent over one of the engines and started fiddling around as Mal stomped off to harass another of the crew. Could be that some of the more unnecessary parts would do for a temporary fix til they were able to afford replacements. Not that she expected them to, ever.

Already, Serenity was a mass of improvised wires and engine bits. Kaylee had improvised a lot. Finding a new way to hook things up would be near impossible. Even so, she wouldn't give up. She simply sighed again, looked around her, and got to work.

"I'll keep you flying, girl," she said, patting Serenity. "I'll find us a way."

_fin._


End file.
